Mood: Sad Music: clatter of the keyboard It’s a period of change and turmoil, and am just trying to sit back and let the dust settle and the same question keeps coming back am I becoming a bad person? Or am I actually one. People I trusted have lied to me, cheated me and told me that I've made them do wrong things, which I would never expect them to do. These were the people I trusted the most in my life and now all this. They know about my trust in them, my respect for them and then also I was told that I made them do something bad…… I hope I never do these things to anyone, friend or stranger. The fact that these things happen leave me wondering, how did I invite these experiences into my life? Just being good is not good enough? And am doing a very bad job of being good? This is a person I had much respect for. I spent all my time learning from him/her. Introduced me to new worlds, showed me the possibilities, set a course for my life. My respect only multiplied. I was told th...
Music: Crave - Nuno Bettencourt Most of you, some even more than others, will find a kinship with these thoughts, you don't have to read them if you're weak of heart. :) There are some nasty edges about life that I've never been able to work my way around. At times, just living on the edge tends to soften the aches. It's avoidance really, but sometimes, when you least expect it, it all piles down on you and you shudder under its weight. I've spent a lifetime regretting my decisions, decisions I thought were incredibly intelligent at the time. I look back at my life now, What do I see? It's a mess, a shambles, but I love it. Without it, I would'nt be who I am today. I'm a quarter of a century + 1 old now, and at best, that's perhaps a third of my operating lifespan. I've seen things, I've learnt things, I've regretted some of it.... But I feel superior in the knowledge that I know I messed up somewhere.... :o) My life's given me an edg...
It was a day that hung like the dot under an ! mark. Round and suspended and full of jabs in the sides and pokes in the ribs as people pointed out the thisness and thatness of the much and such life. When everything was suppose to be going fine, something new started...... It started almost 2 yrs back, Heard lot of ohhs and ahhhs all around. Consulted almost every doctor I can put my hands on to. Checked their degrees , no of yrs on thier back, the way they want to treat me, yes I also tried to see how good are the nurses in their clinics like a fringing interviewer. I was happy to get one sweet doctor who actually listened to me like a new found lover who just want to listen to all the agonies and other stuff too. She gave me lot of confidence, so since then when everything seem to get back in shape I noticed something and duuuh. I want to be back. The reason? I know it all. I was late in realizing it but I did http://my-aura.blogspot.com/2006/04/pearls-game-life.html#links , htt...
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