See thru......

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The thing I really hate about myself is my lack of consistency.

There are times when I’m top of the world. Everything I touch turns to gold. Problems seem irrelevant. I see things in ways that others just can’t see. I find so much to be grateful for. I enjoy the sensation of air on my face on a chilly autumn night. Or on a midsummer afternoon I can lie in the sun with my eyes closed and absorb the warmth just letting time slide by. I can lift people with my cheerfulness. Make them smile. Make their day.

And there are times like today when every single thing in the world seems to be crumbling. When everything I take for granted seems illusory. When all the foundations I rely on seem suspect. It’s times like this when I blame myself, despair of finding a soul mate, hate my job for being meaningless, wonder about where exactly I belong and why I don’t feel settled. My future seems hazy and uncertain. My self-confidence is non-existent. And I wallow in my own misery. I feel so alone, isolated, misunderstood. And I want to be by myself but I hate the sound of silence in my room and the deafeningly loud ticking of the clock in the room.

Comments

Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
June 15, 2007 10:09 AM
Anonymous said…
This is what is called being " human"
June 15, 2007 5:09 PM
Ankur said…
I am sorry Che....I deleted it accidentally.

I hope I don't have to go thru a big punishment.....

*me hides under my table*
June 18, 2007 9:08 AM
Anonymous said…
Dont worry sweetie, and dont get out from your hide ... i am coming to you ... to sit beside you and comfort ... you are safe honey ... BIG TIGHT HUG ... che
June 18, 2007 8:52 PM
Anonymous said…
Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.
June 21, 2007 7:25 AM
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