Dignity Lost

Mood: Sad
Music: clatter of the keyboard

It’s a period of change and turmoil, and am just trying to sit back and let the dust settle
and the same question keeps coming back am I becoming a bad person? Or am I actually one.
People I trusted have lied to me, cheated me and told me that I've made them do wrong things, which I would never expect them to do.
These were the people I trusted the most in my life and now all this. They know about my trust in them, my respect for them and then also I was told that I made them do something bad……
I hope I never do these things to anyone, friend or stranger.
The fact that these things happen leave me wondering, how did I invite these experiences into my life?
Just being good is not good enough? And am doing a very bad job of being good?

This is a person I had much respect for. I spent all my time learning from him/her. Introduced me to new worlds, showed me the possibilities, set a course for my life. My respect only multiplied.
I was told that I made him/her do wrong things………. I was just told about one thing and I didn’t have much courage left to hear more.
Maybe one day (s)he will realise his/her folly and return what (s)he snatched away.

When all is lost, hope still remains.

Its time to change and renew my vow to be the best person I can be at every point in time
and refuse to allow my virtues to be used as weapons against me, and to get rid of my many not so virtuous aspects.

Comments

Anonymous said…
smr was here

feel proud coz u r good. nothing else matters.
Nipun said…
It is one of the great ironies of life, that people who you trust and care for the most, are also the ones who hurt you the most. Known the feeeling, sailed in the same boat. But dont give up being good, cause you owe it to yourself. The change may be good for you.
Cheers!
Anonymous said…
I would want to suggest something.Before feeling so lost try and analyze.What u think as care and trust,was it exactly that fr the other person.Was the other person at any point of time felt suffocated by your ways but didnt say it all the while in the fear to hurt you..Try and analyze and it will give u peace. If u still feel u were right then i truly want u to learn from it and move on. There is something definitely better in store for you.
Anonymous said…
@Anonymous
when two people have trust and are close,then also one fears of hurting other if he/she might be wrong..?would that person not communicate it and let other know rather than keepings things to yourself. what for? so that the other should not get hurt and keep on doing the things you didn't think are right.
Whats the trust for then?
what about the hurt that would come later?
Anonymous said…
Ankur...its me Bigfish the anon person above...
couldn't stop myself when I saw the comment by another anon...

We all love you dude...keep on rocking and just be what you are. You are just perfect.

BTW now I need a gmail invite. send it to me
Anonymous said…
Ankur...its me Bigfish the anon person above...
couldn't stop myself when I saw the comment by another anon...

We all love you buddy...keep on rocking and just be what you are. You are just perfect.

BTW now I need a gmail invite. send it to me
Anonymous said…
When two people are very close and trust each other, then only the fear of hurting is higher...Cause u know each and every nerve of the other person.You know what pinches and what not.U know how u react on what.Wen two people come so close, you reach a point that the other person can anticipate and think like u think thats the point wen the fear of hurt reaches its all time high. U know that if it comes out later its going to cause hurt but then as they say "Tomorrow will be another day.I will think about it tomorrow and not today". YOu try and handle whats the current task at hand. With due regards to what all your friends feel abt u, i nowhere want to say that you have been wrong in the whole episode. I dont even know rather. Its just that i want you to see both sides of the coin. I just happened to pass by your blog and couldnt help putting in what i thought.Take it only if you feel its right.
Ankur said…
Tossing turning turning tossing
daily ritual of mental flossing......
Ankur said…
@anonymous
Thanks for your concern...... :) I am fine.

BTW incase you need Gmail invite..let me know. have got plenty.
Anonymous said…
ankur, who the hell is impersonating me ? I am bigfish - Puneet !!! and i didnt write any of those comments..jeeez man .. some jerk is playin with my id
Ankur said…
Puneet, bigfish is one of my old scool friend......
Never knew you are bigfish too... ????